


breathe him in

by Areiton



Series: Without Words - Stony Love Confessions [6]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Comic Book Science, Drinking to Cope, Established Relationship, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, M/M, POV Second Person, POV Steve Rogers, Pining, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:08:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24327817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Areiton/pseuds/Areiton
Summary: You can’t breathe, because when you do, you feel the icy cold water filling up your lungs.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Without Words - Stony Love Confessions [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1748689
Comments: 3
Kudos: 87





	breathe him in

You can’t close your eyes, because you can only see him, and the moment it went wrong. 

You can’t breathe, because when you do, you feel the icy cold water filling up your lungs. 

~*~ 

You haven’t slept. 

Natasha was watching you, for a while. At some point she handed you off to Sam, and you don’t even mind, because if she isn’t at your side it means she’s looking for  _ him. _

You close your eyes. You haven’t slept because every time you close your eyes, you can see him, his eyes going startled and afraid, and the way his mouth shaped your name, his silence louder than a scream, a split second before he was  _ yanked _ away. 

You don’t sleep. 

You  _ can’t _ sleep. 

Sam sits with you and he doesn’t make any promises he can’t keep. Two years of searching for Bucky together taught him to keep the well-meaning promises to himself. 

You sit in silence and wait. 

~*~ 

Rhodey arrives near hour eighteen, wind-blown and stressed, and you look at him, at the worry written across his features. 

You open your mouth, and nothing comes out, and his lips tighten. Anger flares there, hot and undeniable, and you think about what Tonya always said-- _ he’s my Bucky. _

You tore the team apart for Bucky. 

You tore your  _ heart  _ apart, for Bucky. 

You think, watching Rhodey stepping out of the armor Tony built for him, that he will tear the world apart, for Tony. 

For the first time, you feel a spark of  _ hope.  _

~*~ 

The fight was straightforward. 

An over-sized octopus off the coast. Tony had been laughing. 

You could still taste his lips, could still feel the press of his hands on your hips, see his grin, so familiar and beloved, when you closed your eyes. 

He went with Thor, just the two of them while you watched from the Tower. 

It was straightforward. 

The wave--

The wave had come from  _ nowhere _ , a massive, glowing thing and Thor had screamed and you felt your heart seize, your world crumble as the HUD display showed him--his wide scared eyes, his mouth shaping your name. 

A tentacle wrapped around his ankle, up his boot, and the wave crashed into the octopus and  _ yanked. _

~*~ 

“It’s not natural,” Natasha says. 

“I cannot detect Sir on the earth or within the oceans.” JARVIS reports. 

“Why the  _ fuck _ was he out there without support?” Rhodey snarls. 

It all boils down to this: you have no idea where Tony is. 

~*~ 

“You gotta sleep, man,” Sam says, softly. 

You can’t. 

You can’t say that. 

“C’mon, punk,” Bucky says, and it’s sharp and soft all at once, and you look at him, eyes wide and wet, meet his, warm and too sympathetic. “You’re no use to him like this, Stevie.” 

~*~ 

You scream yourself awake, and you let Bucky pull you close, wordlessly holding you as you finally cry. 

~*~ 

Thor vanishes in the night, and you wake up to Natasha’s cold worried anger, and a nightmare that doesn’t end. 

The thing is--no one know what to do. Leading is your job, yours and Tony’s and Tony would know what to do. If  _ you _ were missing, he’d been tearing the world apart, scanning the universe to find you and that damn octopus, and you--

You don’t know how to do that. 

You don’t even know where to start. 

But you sit there, at the table, shoulders slump and you can feel the icy cold Arctic filling your lungs again, and you can see him, vanishing into the blue waters that stole so much from you and you clench your teeth, hard enough to ache. 

“JARVIS,” you say and the room goes still. Rhodey is watching you, a desperate sort of anger in his eyes, and you think of all the times Tony was missing and Rhodey brought him back. “JARVIS, scan the battle again. The wave wasn’t natural. Scan it for any radiation, anything we can track.” 

“Of course, Captain.” 

Rhodey shifts and you stare at him. 

“We’re going to bring him home,” you promise. The promise no one has dared make to you, that you can’t keep, and are helpless to keep from making. 

“Damn right we are,” Rhodey murmurs. 

~*~ 

It takes two more weeks, endless days of scanning and conversations with Doctor Strange and Namor that prove to be little help. It takes another three nights sobbing in Bucky’s arms, and one, one night that starts with Rhodey punching you and ends with you both slumped at Tony’s bar. 

It takes two more weeks, and Pepper’s increasing worry and the team’s belief thinning every day, and you holding tight to the belief he’s  _ alive _ , that drowning sensation in your chest fighting it every step of the way, and Thor--

Thor stepping out of the Bifrost with an apologetic smile and Tony a step behind. 

You break. 

~*~ 

Later. Later, when it’s been explained and Loki’s obsessive jealousy and mischief have turned into nothing more than a story and a promise to keep him from Midgard, when Rhodey has curled a hand around Tony’s neck and pressed a kiss to his forehead and murmured something too low for you to hear. When he is pushed, gently, into your direction, Tony smiles at you, small and sweet and so fucking familiar. 

He leads you by the hand that is warm and  _ real _ in yours, back to his room and strips out of his flightsuit, standing thin and beautiful and dirty before you, and you hold him close, shuddering at the feel of him, whole and solid, in your arms. 

You tuck your face into his neck, press a kiss there while he pets your hair, and finally--close your eyes and breathe him in. 


End file.
